Awfully Emo

I feel so depressed right now. Looking at the days left to spend with him and my dear ones really scares the hell out of me. I kept saying i still have so many things to do and that i don’t have enough time. I reckon that isn’t quite true. I mean i’ve done what needs to be done, things like buying all the stuff that i need, packing and cleaning up my shelves and wardrobes. I guess it’s not that i have many things to do but just too little time left for my lovelies and I. Sigh.

I know studying abroad to some people is a dream come true. It is to me too but it’s daunting at the same time coz i’ll be going to a place where i know absolutely nobody and it also means i’ll be leaving behind friends, family and him whom are all so precious to me. And... Looking at how much my parents sacrificed for me, how much my friends supports me and how much Jermyn cares for me, it suddenly dawns on me that i’ve never really appreciated the time we’ve had and more often than not, i take them for granted. I guess this guilt will forever be with me.

I’m still pretty upset over losing my best friend over some silly fight, even though it has been more than 2 years already. I really do miss her. Every now and then when i think back, i blame myself for being over-expressive. It’s heart-breaking coz you told me in Standard 6 that no matter what happens, we will always be ‘best friend, bestest friendship’. I remember, we both knew it sounded silly at that instant but we couldn’t find other words to describe it back then. Oh well, i hope the best for her. Even if she may have forgotten me, i will not and will never forget her... for she was once my best friend.

I have not written any post as emo as this for a looooooong time.

Well it's almost 2.30am and i hope Germany will cheer me up later by hammering the spaniards!